Week 3: Bump 'Em Up

Quarterbacks

Jay Cutler (vs. NO): Once upon a time, Denver running backs were all the craze. It didn't matter if they started a full-back, a sixth-round pick, or a walk-on. Mike Shanahan himself could've rushed for 1000 yards. Oh, how the tides have turned. Jay Cutler (that dreamy bastard to your left) has pulled some Bank of America caliber hook-ups the past couple weeks, pleasing Cutler owners and Bronco WR owners alike. This week Cutler will have the opportunity exploit the Saints questionable secondary in front the obnoxiously loud home crowd. As long as the Denver defense continues to be terrible, Cutler will continue to air it out in order to keep up. This one should be obvious. ETC prediction: 24/35, 310yds, 3Td, 1INT

J.T O'Sullivan (vs. Det.): This one should be a bit less obvious. However, there's no need to worry: the Lions will allow any inexperienced quarterback to appear like a seasoned vet (see: Ryan, Matt). Even the former NFL Europe star O'Sullivan, who has played shockingly well in Mike Martz offense, should have a field day. (I mean, honestly, what goes though Matt Millen's bloated head? Is he self-aware of his own disaster? The Lions have become the most God-awful team in football under his reigns, yet continue to draft receivers. Enough is enough. I'm not even a Lions fan, but I pity the soil they walk on). Anyway, Martz and the Niners offense should be salivating for their one week of glory. Look for O'Sullivan to play with something to prove against his former team. ETC prediction: 21/33, 305yds, 2TD, 1INT

Worth mentioning: Matt Cassel, Matt Ryan

Running Backs

Micheal Turner (vs. KC): Turner flopped against the Bucs D, much to the chagrine of owners who were throwing confetti in their living rooms after Week One. Fear not, Turner owners. His time has come once again. The Chiefs already-awful defense looks pretty banged up, hence the starting of two rookie corners. But it will be Turner who benefits the most. Trust me, the Chiefs aren't going to score much with Tyler Thigpen, and consequently, the Falcons aren't going to take too many risks with Matt Ryan. Insert Micheal Turner, who should run freely against the Chiefs pitiful defense. ETC prediction: 24att, 160yds, 2TD, 2rec, 8yds

Julius Jones (vs. STL): Maurice Morris is still out, along with basically the entire Seahawks receiveing core. Hence, Jones should continue to be a big part of this offense. I mean, who else are the Seahawks going to turn to? Olindo Mare? Shaun Alexander? Steve Largent? It's not a matter of talent here, it's a matter of sheer desperation. Plug in Jones and at least watch him touch the ball 25-30 times, something LJ owners can't even say these days. ETC prediction: 27att, 115yds, 1TD, 3rec, 15yds

Worth mentioning: Brandon Jackson, Sammy Morris

Wide Receivers

Robert Meachem (at. Den): With Colston still out, the Saints should (not saying they will) turn to Meachem as their numer one guy. He caught a 19-yard TD last week, and has the most upside of the Saints WR's to take advantage of the Broncos generous defense. Being an unproven rookie and the fact that he was healthy scratch in Week One makes him a gamble. But he's a gamble I'm willing to take (see: Royal, Eddie). Bump up David Patten as well, who had 10 looks in week two. ETC Prediction: 5rec, 95yds, 1TD

Matt Jones (@Ind): Remember way back when the Colts vs. Jaguars game this week was one of the most anticipated of the season? That was a blissful memory. Now it's an opportunity to see the Colts defense holds up with Bobby Sanders, who is now out for at least a few weeks. Enter Matt Jones, who when not having a love affair with Lady Snow has proven to be a favorite target of David Garrard. He's been working with fellow white-guy receiver Ricky Proehl to improve his cuts, which in fact he was able to do against Ten. and Buf. Now he just needs to improve his hands. If Jones can play at half his talent's capabilities, expect a decent game against the Sandersless Colts. ETC prediction: 6rec, 85yds, 1TD

Worth mentioning: Anthony Gonzalez, Jerricho Cotchery

Tight Ends

Randy McMichael (at Sea): McMichael followed up a solid Week One with a dud against the Giants. But things should get better this week against the 'Hawks, who he burned twice last year. Also, with Bulger still getting knocked around (or as McMichael so eloquently put, "treated like a pinata"), poor Mike will be forced to dump it off to the big man more than usual. ETC prediction: 5rec, 65yds

Worth mentioning: John Carleson (apparently it's the cool thing to do)