Week 3: Bump 'Em Up

Quarterbacks

Jay Cutler (vs. NO): Once upon a time, Denver running backs were all the craze. It didn't matter if they started a full-back, a sixth-round pick, or a walk-on. Mike Shanahan himself could've rushed for 1000 yards. Oh, how the tides have turned. Jay Cutler (that dreamy bastard to your left) has pulled some Bank of America caliber hook-ups the past couple weeks, pleasing Cutler owners and Bronco WR owners alike. This week Cutler will have the opportunity exploit the Saints questionable secondary in front the obnoxiously loud home crowd. As long as the Denver defense continues to be terrible, Cutler will continue to air it out in order to keep up. This one should be obvious. ETC prediction: 24/35, 310yds, 3Td, 1INT

J.T O'Sullivan (vs. Det.): This one should be a bit less obvious. However, there's no need to worry: the Lions will allow any inexperienced quarterback to appear like a seasoned vet (see: Ryan, Matt). Even the former NFL Europe star O'Sullivan, who has played shockingly well in Mike Martz offense, should have a field day. (I mean, honestly, what goes though Matt Millen's bloated head? Is he self-aware of his own disaster? The Lions have become the most God-awful team in football under his reigns, yet continue to draft receivers. Enough is enough. I'm not even a Lions fan, but I pity the soil they walk on). Anyway, Martz and the Niners offense should be salivating for their one week of glory. Look for O'Sullivan to play with something to prove against his former team. ETC prediction: 21/33, 305yds, 2TD, 1INT

Worth mentioning: Matt Cassel, Matt Ryan

Running Backs

Micheal Turner (vs. KC): Turner flopped against the Bucs D, much to the chagrine of owners who were throwing confetti in their living rooms after Week One. Fear not, Turner owners. His time has come once again. The Chiefs already-awful defense looks pretty banged up, hence the starting of two rookie corners. But it will be Turner who benefits the most. Trust me, the Chiefs aren't going to score much with Tyler Thigpen, and consequently, the Falcons aren't going to take too many risks with Matt Ryan. Insert Micheal Turner, who should run freely against the Chiefs pitiful defense. ETC prediction: 24att, 160yds, 2TD, 2rec, 8yds

Julius Jones (vs. STL): Maurice Morris is still out, along with basically the entire Seahawks receiveing core. Hence, Jones should continue to be a big part of this offense. I mean, who else are the Seahawks going to turn to? Olindo Mare? Shaun Alexander? Steve Largent? It's not a matter of talent here, it's a matter of sheer desperation. Plug in Jones and at least watch him touch the ball 25-30 times, something LJ owners can't even say these days. ETC prediction: 27att, 115yds, 1TD, 3rec, 15yds

Worth mentioning: Brandon Jackson, Sammy Morris

Wide Receivers

Robert Meachem (at. Den): With Colston still out, the Saints should (not saying they will) turn to Meachem as their numer one guy. He caught a 19-yard TD last week, and has the most upside of the Saints WR's to take advantage of the Broncos generous defense. Being an unproven rookie and the fact that he was healthy scratch in Week One makes him a gamble. But he's a gamble I'm willing to take (see: Royal, Eddie). Bump up David Patten as well, who had 10 looks in week two. ETC Prediction: 5rec, 95yds, 1TD

Matt Jones (@Ind): Remember way back when the Colts vs. Jaguars game this week was one of the most anticipated of the season? That was a blissful memory. Now it's an opportunity to see the Colts defense holds up with Bobby Sanders, who is now out for at least a few weeks. Enter Matt Jones, who when not having a love affair with Lady Snow has proven to be a favorite target of David Garrard. He's been working with fellow white-guy receiver Ricky Proehl to improve his cuts, which in fact he was able to do against Ten. and Buf. Now he just needs to improve his hands. If Jones can play at half his talent's capabilities, expect a decent game against the Sandersless Colts. ETC prediction: 6rec, 85yds, 1TD

Worth mentioning: Anthony Gonzalez, Jerricho Cotchery

Tight Ends

Randy McMichael (at Sea): McMichael followed up a solid Week One with a dud against the Giants. But things should get better this week against the 'Hawks, who he burned twice last year. Also, with Bulger still getting knocked around (or as McMichael so eloquently put, "treated like a pinata"), poor Mike will be forced to dump it off to the big man more than usual. ETC prediction: 5rec, 65yds

Worth mentioning: John Carleson (apparently it's the cool thing to do)

Week Two: Bump 'Em Up

Quarterbacks

Aaron Rodgers (@ Det): Last week Rodgers looked poised and surprisingly Favre-esque against Minnesota's weak secondary. This week he'll have another defense, one that looks to be significantly worse, to pick apart. Grant's improving hamstring sure alleviate any concerns about the running game. Look for Rodgers to air it out a bit more. ETC Prediction: 20/29, 260yds, 2TD, 1INT

Ben Roethlisberger (@ Cle): The Browns secondary are looking to be the kids on the playground who perpetually get their lunch money stolen, atomic wedges, picked last, etc. This week's bully is Big Ben, who is battling a sore shoulder that doesn't appear to be anything serious. He'll have a better-than-average day, assuming Mike Tomlin doesn't get too conservative. ETC Prediction 21/33, 240yds, 3TD, 1INT

Worth mentioning: Eli Manning, Jay Cutler

Running Backs

Reggie Bush (@ Was): Throw in an injury to Marques Colston, mix it with an ailing Deuce McAllister, and sprinkle it with the Saints new and improved usage of Bush. What does that bake? Well, one delicious King Cake for Reggie Bush. Washington's defense got plowed by Brandon Jacobs in Week One, but will get wowed by Reggie Bush in week two. ETC Prediction: 18 carries, 75yds, 1 rushing TD, 8rec, 90yds, 1 receiving TD

Earnest Graham (vs. Atl): In Tampa, Brian Griese is starting over Jeff Garcia at quarterback this week, which sounds like a move taken straight from one of my Madden 2001 franchise teams. Griese's inexperience with the first team (at least this year) should give Graham a few extra carries. Plus, Atlanta's defense is nothing to write home about. Expect a lot of running on both sides in this one, but for Warrick Dunn to swipe a few too many carries. ETC Prediction: 19 carries, 85 yards, 2TD, 4rec, 30yds

Worth mentioning: Julius Jones, Sammy Morris

Wide Receivers

Randy Moss (at NYJ): Wait, bump him up? Oh yes. Bump him up high. And I'll tell you why. First off, Welker and Gaffney are limping around, so Moss should be targeted even more than usual. As a Jets fan, I can tell you first-hand the Jets secondary is fairly average, and will still cover Welker as if he's healthy. Plus, Moss and Cassell did hook-up for a sweet touchdown last week. But here's the real reason: while Brady is a legendary quarterback, he also a product of a great system. The Pats will adapt. I've seen Moss slip into the double-digits of other rankings this week, but he deserves to be top-3 material, at least for this match-up. ETC Prediction: 10rec, 130yds, TD

Bernard Berrian (vs. Ind): I still love the Vikings this year. Au contraire, the Colts just got embarrassed in that brand new stadium by the Bears. The Bears! Tavaris Jackson will air it out, and Berrian is the deep threat who will keep on pull 'em in. ETC Prediction: 6cec, 130yds, 1TD

Worth Mentioning: Courtney Taylor, Bryant Johnson

Tight End

Jeremy Shockey (@Was): Benefactor #2 of the Colston injury: Mr. Shockey. Brees loves to dump it off to the big guys underneath, and with Colston gone, he'll find himself a new favorite target. ETC Prediction: 6rec, 65yds, 1TD

Worth mentioning: John Carlson

Bump 'Em Up

Quarterbacks

Kurt Warner (at 49ers): With Larry Fitz and Boldin making up arguably the best 1,2 receiving tandem, it could be nearly impossible for a quarterback to struggle passing them the ball. Unless you're the teeny-bopping Matt Leinhart. As far as grey geezer quarterbacks go, it's Kurt Warner, and not that other guy, who deserves more attention this year. He'll rack up 300+ yards against the puny Niners defense, and be the Jedi Master to Leinhart's Anakin Skywalker by chucking at least a pair of deep touchdowns. Hell, would it be crazy to start him over Peyton? I think not. Remember when Warner put up 484 yards against the Niners last year? ETC Prediction: 384yds, 3TD, 1INT

Brett Favre (at Mia): Under an intense microscope, Favre should be a solid start. Everybody's favorite attention-grubbing ex-retiree should play well with the added motivation of outperforming Chad Pennington in his new digs. Lucky for Favre, he should have a field day against the weak Dolphins secondary. He's set-up nice chemistry with Jericho Cotchery, and the revamped offensive line should help balance the attack. ETC Prediction: 300yds, 2TD. 2INT

Worth Mentioning: Carson Palmer, Chad Pennington

Running Backs

Michael Turner (vs. Det): In a slugfest of weak teams, the real winner here is going to be Michael Turner. With Matt Ryan still learning the ropes, the Falcons will run the gammot with their new running back. Jerious Norwood ain't a bad flex starter option either if you're in a deeper league. Look for Turner to get a ton of carries anyway. ETC Prediction: 30car, 140yds, 2TD and a couple receptions

Thomas Jones (at Mia): Last year was not the year my fellow Jets fan were hoping for from Mr. Jones. But this year he's gonna to be a big, big star (and I don't how/and I don't know where/blah blah blah). Like Favre, he should benefit from playing against the abyssmal Dolphins defense. In what is becoming a rarity at the running back position, he shouldn't have anyone stealing many carries either. Once the Jets are comfortably winning, Mangini should rely on Jones in the fourth quarter. ETC Prediction: 32car, 150yds, 1TD and a couple receptions

Worth Mentioning: Justin Fargas, Willie Parker

Running Mates

Sarah Palin (vs. Dem): While she may not have much more experience the guy running your local ice rink, people believe in Palin. Her 40 million viewers at the Republican National Committee last week topped Obama's 38 and McCain's 38.5. She should be a solid start next week as the media grows increasingly bored about her daughter's pregnancy. The Democrats sent in 30 lawyers to Alaska to dig up dirt up her, so play her while she's hot.

Worth mentioning: Joe Biden, Joe Lieberman

Wide Receivers

Nate Burleson (at Buf): Somebody has to catch Hasselback's passes. The one looking to benefit the most is first-year Seahawk Nate Burleson, who underperformed for too many years in Minnesota. Until the running back situation is figured out, Seattle should air it out. Start Burleson. ETC Prediction: 8rec, 110yds, 1TD

Greg Jennings (vs. Min): Minnesota passing defense was suspect last year. Their should be an improvement this year, but at the same time, not too much has changed. With Grant hurting tomorrow, look for Aaron Rodgers to air it out to his favorite weapon. ETC Prediction: 7rec, 120yds, 2TD

Worth Mentioning: Eddie Royal, Dwayne Bowe

Tight End

L.J. Smith (vs. Hou): Like Burleson, well, his quarterback has to pass to somebody. ETC Prediction: 6rec, 55yds, 1Td

Worth Mentioning: Owen Daniels, Ben Utecht